Self Love and How To Practice It
By Kylee Harris
What is self-love and how can we practice it? Getting caught up in day-to-day stress is normal. But how do we unwind after a long day and show ourselves love and support? You may not think practicing self-appreciation is important, but it is! Taking care of ourselves both physically and emotionally is actually the key to success and happiness in the real world. Self-love is showing yourself appreciation for both the small and big things. Practicing self-love means you are working to accept and respect yourself fully, cherishing your strengths and weaknesses, and promising to nurture your growth and well-being.
For some, self-love can be learning to find comfort within themself. Whether it be societal, cultural, political, or internal, everyone battles factors that make self-love hard. Judgment from others is a particular fear for most people, which leads to self-doubt and insecurity. It’s easy to say “You shouldn’t care what they think” but everyone knows, that’s one of the hardest things to do. When you practice self-love and appreciation, you’re accepting all those judgments as opinions, and putting them to the side, because as long as you are authentically you, it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.
People practice using many methods. Self love looks different for everyone. As long as you’re practicing it in some way, you’re on your way to being more centered and in touch. For myself, what that looks like is repeating affirmations to myself everyday. “I am balanced, I am worthy, I love my body” are just a few I use daily to motivate myself to practice comfort in who I am. It’s important to practice in many different ways to find what works for you, and what doesn’t. Here are some ways you can practice self love at home.
-Write a letter to yourself
What are the things you like about yourself? What do you think you need to work on? What would you tell your younger self?
-Build a self care routine
When you come home from work or school, light your favorite candle, turn on your favorite show, make your favorite meal, and RELAX! Long term self care routines look like making lists, meal prepping, scheduling appointments, and dedicating time to hygiene.
-Make a gratitude list
What are you most thankful for? Why? What emotions do these things bring to you?
-Practice Affirmations
“I am loved, I am worthy, I am kind, I am strong”
Affirmations can also look like: “I can make it through today” “If I need a break, I can take one”, “I will stand up for myself in tough situations”
-Do something that matters to you
Work, school, whatever you have going on can be busy. You might feel like you don’t have time for the things that you love to do, but taking that time is essential for your well being. Haven’t picked up the guitar in 3 weeks? JAM OUT!
-Have a solo date night
Take yourself out! Who says you need to have someone join you for a nice meal out? Romanticize your life FOR YOU.
-Dance and Movement
Even if you’re not a dancer, letting your body free move is freeing! Turn on some music and appreciate how your body moves and the rhythm in which it sways. No rhythm? Try some yoga poses combined with some deep breathing. What feels natural? What positions felt good? Getting comfortable with your body is the first step to appreciation and positivity.
Any of these activities can help you begin your self love journey. Whether you have 2 hours to practice, or 20 minutes, make sure you are doing something for yourself every single day. It is too often that we forget about ourselves and how important it is to take care of the body, mind, and soul.
School Counselor Appreciation
The first week of February is dedicated to School Counselors, so let’s show them some well deserved praise. We’d like to shout out some of the wonderful counselors we’ve worked with in fighting the mental health stigma! Thank you to all of our hard-working School Counselors! We appreciate all the wonderful work you do.
Attending the Annual Summit on the State of Education in Massachusetts
Peer Mentor Graduation at BAMSI
Hooray for another successful training at BAMSI with this wonderful crew. After four days of learning about suicide prevention and advocating for youth mental health, we have some new leaders! We can’t wait to see you all shine, whether you continue with us or become trailblazers within your own communities
Let’s hear it for the grads!
New Year’s Resolutions: Why It’s Okay To Have Them, and Break Them
New Year’s Resolutions: Why It’s Okay To Have Them, and Break Them
By: Kylee Harris
Have you heard: “New year, new me!”? Or maybe something like “Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” New Year’s resolutions can be a great way to keep yourself accountable for changes you’d like to make to your life or to reach goals that you’ve always wanted to achieve. But what happens when you make a New Year’s resolution and break it? Do you feel guilty? Does setting a goal for yourself and not achieving it mean you failed? It can feel like that sometimes for sure! But, it’s not always a bad thing to break your resolution. I offer to you, here, a perspective from the other side on why it is OKAY to break your resolutions, and how you can grow from it.
Some of America’s most popular resolutions include….
“Eating Healthier”, “Losing Weight”, “Spending Less Money”, and “Give Up A Habit”. These are all great ideas, but let’s talk about goals vs resolutions. A resolution is defined as “a statement of what you want to CHANGE” while a goal is “a statement of what you want to ACHIEVE”. Setting realistic expectations can help make a resolution possible. There’s a lot of pressure as each new year arrives for people to declare what they want from themselves and even more pressure to uphold it. Creating small goals that lead to a resolution can be a great way to grow. For example, instead of “my New Year’s resolution is to lose weight” try “My New Year’s goal is to start eating one healthy meal a day” or “My New Year’s goal is to start cooking healthy meals”. With your goals structured as small achievements, it creates a more positive, encouraging outcome for yourself.
If you did create a resolution, great! Some people want to hold themselves to that higher standard to purposefully pressure themselves into success and for some people it works. For others, that standard of promise is too high and can be anxiety inducing and encourage a depressive episode post “failed resolution” with a similar feeling to relapsing. It can be hard to upkeep a promise you’ve made to yourself, and letting yourself down on that promise can be frustrating, but I’m here to tell you that it’s okay. The first step to change is to try. Trying different methods and finding out some of them don’t work is still progress! You are still moving in the right direction. The only way you will not be successful is if you don’t try at all. Sometimes it takes people researching and using trial and error to find out what path will lead them to success the healthiest way. It’s also okay to reevaluate and set a smaller goal for yourself such as instead of “my resolution is to spend less money”, try “my goal is to budget each week” or “my goal is to save $50 from every paycheck”. Seeing these smaller goals achieved help make your success attainable and keep you positive and encourage you to set more goals.
Resolutions and goals have their individual standards reserved for the individual attempting to achieve them. The standard is what YOU set it as. You are in charge of your happiness and the ability to change your life for the better. Staying positive and communicating how you’re feeling is extremely important in the process of making any change. Talk to your friends, your family, and people with experience reaching individual goals and resolutions. Ask questions, and stay flexible. Remember that it’s okay to break down a resolution into smaller goals, and it’s okay through trial and error to find out what works for you. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it just means there’s another path to take.
The NAN Project Holiday Party
Happy Holidays from The NAN Project team! This week we got to celebrate the work that we’ve accomplished so far this school year with a holiday party at King’s Bowling
. We’d like to take some time this holiday season to reflect on our gratitude toward all of our sponsors and supporters. We couldn’t do our work without out you
Bilingual Peer Mentor Spotlight: Emily
This school year has seen our bilingual programming flourish at an unprecedented rate. Emily is one of the amazing Peer Mentors who has allowed our bilingual programming to excel this year. We sat down with Emily, our first Portuguese language bilingual Peer Mentor, to ask her a little bit about her work with the NAN Project.
- What made you want to work with the NAN Project
“I wanted to work with the NAN Project because they were tabling at my school’s self-care fair. I went up to the table and heard about their mission and I thought it was really inspiring and I wanted to be a part of something like that”
- Can you tell me about how your cultural background connects to your mental health?
“I feel like being able to have a community that I can connect with and that shares beliefs and similar experiences was extremely important. Having that connection and feeling like a part of something gave me a sense of belonging that soothed me.”
- Do you notice that students connect more when you tell your story in Portuguese?
“For sure. One time after presenting, this group of girls came up to me and said, ‘We were listening to the other stories and it’s nice to hear, but we couldn’t really relate to them. Then when you told your story, it’s something that we feel like we can relate to and it touched us.’ I feel like my Comeback Story is really a story of hope, so I feel they gained a sense of hope from hearing how I turned out. It’s nice to see people feeling represented.”
- Have you received any student questions or comments that especially stuck out to you?
“One time there was a card that said someone had been going through a similar experience as me, with having a family member deported. They asked for advice on how to cope with that. That moment was really deep for me. It made me reflect and recall that experience and was something that remained in the back of my mind. When that came back up, I thought ‘Oh wow,’ Sometimes you forget you even lived through the things in your story. So, having the chance to remember how I overcame that time in my life was a special experience.”
- Does it feel telling your story in English vs Portuguese?
“It definitely feels different. In Portuguese, it’s a unique way of expressing myself. Some things in English can feel more cold, whereas in Portuguese it can feel warmer and stronger”
- How do you think hearing a bilingual NAN Project presentation would have affected you as a kid?
“It would have helped me because we always hear stories of perseverance and overcoming adversity, but when a story is directly related to
your cultural experiences, it’s a whole different experience. The immigrant experience, and being an immigrant in America, is an entirely unique genre. There are so many different feelings and it’s a cultural experience with the different challenges we see across different stories. If I heard a story like that, I would feel a greater sense of hope to see that someone else has been through it and they’re still okay today.”
- What advice would you give to yourself as a younger kid?
“I would tell myself that it gets better and that you’re not always gonna feel weird in your own skin and so insecure. I thought I was going to
feel a sense of hopelessness, like things were always going to be that way. But, it does get better and you learn and grow and things truly get better.”
- What are your plans for the future?
“My end goal is to be a psychologist so I’m always looking for opportunities, whether it’s job opportunities or volunteering or internships. Anything that can give me more experience working in the mental health field. I plan on doing medical interpreting and will finish my Portuguese interpretation training in January. My job as an interpreter is going to be in medical settings and I will be facilitating communication between medical providers and patients”
Teens in Need Drive
The Teens in Need donation drive was a huge success! Thank you to everyone who generously contributed donations, your support will have a powerful impact on the lives of local teens! We’d also like to express huge gratitude to those who helped organize the drive, with a special shout out to Lexi and the Rappas family Liz Paciello Rappa 
Here are some photos of The NAN Project dropping off the donations at the youth access centers, YouthElemento and YouForward
Holiday Gift Guide: Mental Health Edition
By Kylee Harris
As the holidays approach, a lot of us struggle with our mental health. But let me let you in on a secret… IT’S NORMAL! It’s a busy time of year filled with stress and chaos. Seasonal Affective Disorder affects more people than you think. The shorter days and less daylight activate a chemical change in the brain that leads to depression. People struggling with chronic depression may feel an obligation during the holiday season to feel happy as for a lot of people, it’s the happiest time of the year. In reality, it’s really hard to struggle with depression during the holidays while everyone else experiences heightened euphoria. The overwhelming general happiness can make us second guess ourselves and activate us.
Whether you or someone you love struggles with mental health, it’s important to show patience and support. I’ve curated a list down below of possible mental health gifts for people struggling with Seasonal Affective Disorder and other mental illnesses during this time.
- SUNRISE ALARM CLOCK
This clock is designed to gradually increase from 10% light to 100%, aligning with research that says: “Light has a physiological direct impact on our mood, which is why light therapy helps with seasonal depression”. Starting the day with healthy lighting has been proven to help lift the onset of depressive symptoms in the morning, especially during the winter.
- ROLL ON ESSENTIAL OILS
A more recent study, it has been proven that certain essential oils can have an anxiolytic, or anxiety reducing effect, which increases production of serotonin. Serotonin is the neurotransmitter responsible for mood, sleep, and other important body functions.
For anxiety, try…. Peppermint or Bergamot Oil
For depression, try…Lavender, Ylang-Ylang, and Frankincense
- WEIGHTED EYE MASK
A weighted eye mask has many benefits both mentally and physically! KindFace, a company that specializes in restoring both our mental health and our planet says: “Our circadian rhythm is a biological process that mainly responds to light and dark; add light and you naturally wake up, remove light and you instantly become sleepy. It is otherwise known as your sleep-wake pattern, which changes after a 24-hour cycle. Sleeping experts also agree that a dark environment is vital to dozing off faster and having an overall good night’s rest. Nowadays, we are exposed to more artificial blue light than when technology was not yet the trend”
A weighted eye mask also has many benefits for Sensory Processing Disorders that help calm the nervous system, and help the individual become more relaxed inducing the stimulation of sleep hormones.
Link: https://kind-face.com/collections/all/products/weighted-eye-mask
Hopefully some of these gift ideas can help you, or a loved one struggling with their mental health this season. Remember that it’s okay not to feel okay! Talk about how you are feeling with a trusted friend, family, or adult! Just because everyone around you is experiencing happiness does not mean that you are obligated to match those emotions. Be true to yourself, practice self care, and have a safe and happy holiday season!
Sources:
https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/mental-health-resources/
Managing Time Alone and Combating Depression While Living Alone
by Kylee Harris
Recently, I started to understand that time alone isn’t necessarily always a negative thing, but it can still trigger tough emotions. In the past few years with COVID 19, we’ve had to learn how to cope with isolation and fill our time. I thought it would be useful to jot down some of the things I did after a surgery with a 4 week post op period of bedrest.
Having time alone can be really relaxing. You can use the time to journal, clean, do self care, and catch up on your favorite shows. But what happens when you have done it all? How many ways can you rearrange your room or make a new recipe before you lose that motivation and get lost in your own thoughts and silence? I’ve had 4 weeks to myself, and here are a few things I did to fill the time.
PREPARATION:
-Grocery shopped for my favorite items (so I could have some comfort food!)
-Cleaned my apartment! (my space is so important to me, and I truly felt I was able to relax more when my apartment was clean)
-New Blanket (I wanted a little treat for myself. That blanket was definitely getting some use in this chilly weather!)
-Candles and ambiance lighting (the vibe of your space is going to contribute to how you’re feeling)
WEEK 1:
Was mostly used for recovery. Toward the end of the week, I started to feel disconnected from the world and was having a hard time staying at home in bed all day.
-A lot of napping (after surgery, my body needed a lot of rest to heal!)
-Caught up and rewatched some of my favorite shows (Prison Break, Bob’s Burgers, Charmed, and The Office)
-Started writing “movie reviews” for each genre and explored films I never thought I would like
-Lit candles around my apartment (to make the vibe more peaceful)
-Stayed connected with family and friends to get ahead of feeling lonely (I started to do check-ins with a couple friends to stay updated and informed on what I was missing)
WEEK 2:
I loved having so much time at home. From working a 40 hour week to having endless time in my own space, I was feeling relaxed and cozy although I was having trouble feeling I was missing out on what was going on around me. So instead of texting my friends, I started phoning them to have a more intimate conversation and feel isolated.
-Breathing therapy (for when I started to feel anxious or dysregulated)
-Yoga (I did poses that I was comfortable doing post op. This really helped me stay active both physically and mentally. I made a routine of doing a yoga pose a day!)
-Started crafting. (I ordered a bunch of beads off of amazon and started making bracelets! Having something beautiful that I personally handmade made me feel a sense of accomplishment.)
-Organizing my space (I wasn’t able to be too mobile, but I was able to sit in front of my closet for an hour to organize and donate clothes!)
WEEK 3:
Here is where the depression really hit. It had been 3 weeks since I had seen my friends, I had family members stop by, but it wasn’t the same as being able to go out on your own terms. I started feeling trapped in my own space. Alone with my thoughts for hours, I started to spiral a bit into my depression. Luckily, I had a lot of support and here is how I got through it!
-Explored podcasts I normally wouldn’t listen to! (After discovering so many films I didn’t think I would be interested in, I started branching out on my podcast selections. This included mindfulness and meditation podcasts to help keep myself grounded!)
-Made a new recipe everyday! (I bookmarked the pages on thrift store cookbooks and online recipes)
-Yoga. A lot of yoga.
-Journaling (I journaled in my notes app everyday whether it was a plan for the day, a to do list, or just how I was feeling. I felt so much better putting my thoughts into the universe, even if they were just for me.
WEEK 4:
Okay, if last week was that tough, I’m sure I can get through this week. I kept reminding myself how much support I had and how strong I was! Being home alone for so long felt so isolating, and I wasn’t ready for another week of it. I knew I had to keep myself occupied. 7 MORE DAYS I GOT THIS! Here is where it all fell into place, and I was really able to get myself into a routine that worked for me and that I looked forward to everyday. The routine was as follows.
5:30am: LIGHT CANDLES YOGA/STRETCHING
7:00am MAKE COFFEE and WATCH A SHOW OR MOVIE TO REVIEW
9:00 am OUTSIDE WALK (even if it’s just to the mailbox and back, fresh air is great!)
10:00am CRAFTS AND DIY or CLEANING or ONLINE WORK
12:00 pm LUNCH
1:00pm: CONNECT WITH FRIENDS/FAMILY
3:00pm: LIGHT CANDLES AND INCENSE PLAN DINNER WHILE WATCHING A SHOW/MOVIE
5:00pm: START DINNER
6:30pm: READ A CHAPTER OF MY BOOK and PLAN TOMORROW’S AGENDA
8:00pm LIGHTS OUT
While most of us probably won’t be spending a full 4 weeks alone, I hope I was able to provide some ideas on how to fill time alone. Whether you live alone, are quarantining, recently have had surgery, or just need a self care break, these are all things to fill the time with. Isolation can be tough, but hopefully my experience can help someone else figure out how to enrich their alone time, and combat depression.